For various reasons I’m going to start exercising August 16th. Someday I’ll go into why that date but for now just know on August 16th I will begin working out again after a long exercise draught.

One of the items on my exercise menu is a spinning class. It appears that if you want to burn calories spinning or indoor cycling is your class. Indoor cycling can burn like 600 calories in 40 minutes. Ka-ching.

Here’s the other thing. A few years ago before this recent fitness draught I got pretty into spinning and really liked it. Here’s why I liked spinning so much. It is the only time I can totally let it rip.. cardio-wise. When I run (jog) I feel like I’m going to fall or twist my ankle or my woman junk’s going to knock my eye out. I hold back. When I swim I just can’t go very fast and there’s a bathing suit and I can never let it rip when a bathing suit’s involved. When I do stair stepping I’m just mad.

But somehow with spinning I can actually take the pins out and GO! I’m not going to fall off the bike or hit a pot hole or twist an ankle. After a few classes I get stronger and can really push it.

So I’ll be spinning. The class starts after Labor Day. But remember I’m starting slower than spinning on August 16th. I need a few suggestions. What is your favorite activity to slowly ease into exercise?

 Tune in Friday as betheboy’s wife helps me get my head on straight when it comes to exercise. The two people behind those links above helped me get through week without my beloved Greta!

Help Wanted:I needed a guest writer while Greta vacations. Will Betheboy came to my rescue. He writes the witty blog BeTheBoy. He offered me this slice of cake and the apocalypse. For the first time ever cake with no calories. Thank you Be The Boy.. you The MAN!

Enjoy this story originally posted on September 24, 2007 and visit BeTheBoy for more.

The End of Days and Cake

On Saturday night, after having a particularly annoying day, Nina and I decided that we absolutely must have cake. I had been to the supermarket earlier in the day but was feeling surprisingly health conscious at the time so I skipped the cake and bough vegetables…bad idea. Plus I couldn’t even find a cake because the supermarket was a madhouse on Saturday afternoon because it was raining. In most cities rain is no problem but here in LA it rains so infrequently that precipitation is treated like a plague from god. While I was in the store there was an announcement: “Ladies and gentlemen we have an important weather announcement! IT IS RAINING!” That’s it, rain. It’s not like it was raining frogs or even raining men, just H2O but shoppers, fearing that we we’re all about to die went into looting mode and the cakes we’re the first to get ransacked. I think that when it rains everyone panics, assumes the end is near and says “I need to shove cake in face before the rapture”.

Anyway, hours later the land has dried and I still want cake so we take the two block walk to the coffee shop only to find that in the great panic of 1:00 PM the cakes had been gobbled up. So we walked a few blocks east down Melrose to find the next coffee shop to find the doors locked and the display case also barren of all things cake like, probably picked clean before puddles even formed in the streets by people forgoing their diets and kissing their loved ones goodbye between mouthfuls.

Two stops down and still without cake we turn back towards home but at this point we’re like post apocalyptic survivors (minus the requisite leather costumes) foraging for sweets so instead of heading home we head about six blocks west and then down Fairfax to the 24 hour diner/bakery where finally we found what we were looking for. However, as we were getting closer to the door I realized that we’d probably covered at least a mile of ground which made me mad because I hate it when I go out for cake and end up with exercise, next time we’re driving.

This hit the news last week. Scientists have discovered a so-called workout pill.

The pill has only been tested on mice but it burns calories, reduces fat, AND when the mice do workout they’re beasts. I mean like they rule the treadmill because of one little pill. It’s called AICAR. (That’s a working title I think.)

Scientists are now testing to see if the results achieved by the sexy little mice will translate to humans. Some scientists believe people with heart conditions, those who are recuperating from surgery and others with medical limitations could greatly benefit from a workout pill.

But I forsee a different market for the workout pill. The market is comprised of.. ah.. me.

Give me the pill. Give me the pill right now. 

Sure I have no obvious medical conditions that prohibit working out. Although I cannot for the life of me find my jogging bra. It’s been AWOL since 2005. Which means I haven’t worked out. I’m pretty sure that’s a medical condition. I can’t find my workout bra, my physician can verify this, so give me the pill.

Give me the pill right now.

And because I think AICAR is a lamish name what would be a good name for a workout pill?  My vote is for Tonelynol. Give me the pill… right now.

Note: Today I signed Greta and I up for Yoga AND Spinning classes. They start after Labor Day. For crying in the downward facing dog.. spare our community and give us the pill really.. for the love of spandex.

Ok y’all. We are leaving for the lake in 1o hours. By the time you read this, we’ll have been there for 2 or 3 days already (through the magic of the interwebs). In the process of doing the pre-trip laundry, cleaning, packing, I had a lot of time for introspection (ok, not really time per se…but it was a great way to procrastinate all the pre-trip laundry, cleaning and packing).

We’re not roughing it on this trip, exactly. We will have plumbing, electricity, a roof over our head and an actual bed to sleep in. But, we’re out in the country, communing with nature. We’re going to catch much of what we eat. So, I got to thinking, what if I streamlined everything. Not just the food we’re going to attempt to eat, but everything. How much of my usual “stuff” am I willing to give up? My makeup, my blow dryer? We were planning to bring a portable dvd/tv combo because the cabin doesn’t have one. What if we left it home? Go completely unplugged and natural for an entire week. I don’t know if I can do it, but I’m willing to try.

I am…however…not ka-razy! I realized there are a few luxury items that I cannot, no matter what live without.

1.) tweezers (um…somebody posted on on postsecret that her biggest fear was she’d lapse into a coma and everyone would see how hairy she really is…that could be me).

2.) lip balm

3.) hand lotion

What about you? What could you give up for a week? What do you absolutely, positively have to have?

I’ll let you now how it goes…

Today the generous ladies of Good Mom/Bad Mom featured this post. They say it’s a lousy badge but we LOVE it. And when you go over to Good Mom Bad Mom click on the links. The bloggers featured will keep you engrossed all day.

Thank you Good Mom/Bad Mom.